Whether it’s a big goodbye at nursery or just stepping out for a moment, separation anxiety can take parents and little ones by surprise. Around the age of two — sometimes even earlier — many children go through a phase where goodbyes feel like a very big deal.
But take a deep breath: this is a completely normal stage of development, and just like teething, tantrums, and refusing to eat anything but toast... this too shall pass.
Here’s how to help your little one (and yourself) navigate those wobbly moments:
1. Ease Into It — Slowly and Gently
Imagine being a toddler: one minute you’re cuddled up with your favourite grown-up, the next, they’ve vanished! No wonder it’s a bit unsettling.
Start small:
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Try leaving your child with a familiar face for just 5–10 minutes while you’re nearby.
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Gradually build up the time as their confidence grows.
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The key? Help them learn that you always come back.
Trust takes practice, and this gentle approach helps it blossom.
2. Keep Your Goodbyes Calm and Confident
We get it — leaving your child in tears can tug hard on your heartstrings. But children are little emotional sponges. If they sense your worry, it may heighten theirs.
When it’s time to go:
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Keep your goodbye short, sweet, and positive.
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Try a cheerful, “I’ll see you after snack time!” with a smile and a hug.
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Then go — lingering often makes things harder for both of you.
This shows your child that there's nothing to fear and that you trust where they’re staying.
3. Create a “See You Soon” Plan
For children who understand a bit more, give them something to look forward to:
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“After your nap, we’ll go to the park!”
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“When I pick you up, we’ll read The Tiger Who Came to Tea together.”
It offers reassurance that this separation is just a pause, not a full stop, and helps them link the time apart with something comforting and fun.
Important: Always follow through with these little promises to keep that trust growing strong.
4. Send a Snuggle from Home
A small comfort item can make a big difference. Whether it’s a well-loved teddy, a soft muslin cloth, or even a parent’s t-shirt — a familiar smell or texture can provide a sense of safety and continuity.
You might even call it their “brave buddy” to help them feel strong when you’re not right beside them.
A Final Word: You’re Doing Great
Separation anxiety can feel tough — for both of you — but it’s also a sign of a healthy, loving bond. With patience, consistency, and lots of cuddles, your little one will learn that goodbye always leads back to hello again.
And when they run into your arms after a short separation, all smiles and squeals, you’ll know just how far you’ve both come.
