If your toddler has ever clutched a toy like it's made of gold and shouted “MINE!” across the room — congratulations! You’ve got a perfectly normal tiny human on your hands.
Sharing doesn’t come naturally in the toddler years, and that’s okay. In fact, around the age of 3, your little one is just beginning to develop empathy and understand the idea of taking turns. But knowing they should share doesn't mean they’re ready to hand over their favourite dinosaur without a fight.
Let’s explore what’s going on in their little heads — and how you can gently nudge them toward becoming a turn-taking superstar.
Why Sharing is So Tricky
Your toddler isn’t being mean when they grab or snatch; they’re just hardwired to protect what they see as theirs. For most of their young life, their job has been to survive, explore, and assert themselves. That favourite toy? It feels like part of their identity.
Empathy is still under construction at this age, so the idea that another child might be sad or waiting patiently doesn’t quite land yet. It’s not selfishness — it’s development.
Tips & Tricks to Make Sharing Less Stressy
Here are some playful ways to encourage sharing (without the power struggles):
1. Make Turn-Taking a Game
Playing games that naturally involve taking turns — like rolling a ball, stacking blocks, or banging on a drum one at a time — helps toddlers practice sharing in a fun, no-pressure way. Celebrate when they wait their turn and heap on the praise: "Wow! You waited so patiently — high five!"
2. Respect Their Treasures
We all have our non-negotiables — your toddler probably does too. Their beloved bunny or special bedtime bear might not be up for grabs, and that’s okay. Let them choose a few “special toys” that don’t have to be shared, and make that a family rule. It helps them feel respected and more in control.
3. Talk It Through
Even if they can't quite grasp complex emotional concepts, toddlers benefit hugely from you modelling empathy out loud:
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“Oh, you really love that truck, huh? And Jamie wants a turn too.”
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“It’s hard to wait, but look — when you’re done, we’ll set a timer and Jamie can play next.”
You’re not only helping them share — you’re teaching them why it matters.
4. Use Timers or “Toy Swaps”
A visual timer or kitchen timer can be your best friend here. Try giving each child a few minutes, then swap. While they wait, offer them something else to play with so the wait doesn’t feel endless.
Or try a toy swap: “You give Maya the blocks, and she’ll give you the car. Want to trade?”
5. Be the Role Model
Sharing is a monkey-see, monkey-do skill. Let your toddler see you share snacks, space, stories — even your umbrella on a rainy day. Point it out gently: “Look, I’m sharing my toast with Daddy. Sharing makes people happy!”
Above All — Be Patient
Remember, your toddler is doing big emotional work every single day. Learning to share isn't just about toys — it's about understanding the feelings of others, regulating their own impulses, and trusting that they will get another turn.
There will be moments when it all goes beautifully, and moments when they lose it over a plastic spoon. That’s all part of the ride.
So, take a deep breath, keep modelling, and know that slowly but surely, your little one will learn that life’s more fun when it’s shared.
(Just… maybe not the beloved bedtime bunny. Let’s not push our luck.)
