Welcoming a new baby into the family is a moment full of love and excitement—but it can also feel like a big shift for your toddler, especially when they’ve been your one and only until now. Becoming a big sibling is a huge emotional step for a little person, and with a bit of thought and preparation, you can help them feel proud, connected, and secure in their new role.
Here’s how to help your toddler get ready to become an older sibling, and how to make sure they still feel seen, heard, and deeply loved once baby arrives.
Before Baby Arrives: Planting the Seeds
Talk About the Baby Early
Start gently introducing the idea of a new baby well before your due date. Keep things simple and age-appropriate:
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“The baby is growing in mummy’s tummy.”
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“You’re going to be a big brother/sister soon—what do you think about that?”
Let them ask questions and answer honestly, but in a positive tone. If they seem unsure or uninterested, that’s okay. It takes time for the idea to sink in.
Read Stories About Becoming a Sibling
Books can help explain what’s coming in a way that feels safe and fun. Try:
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I’m a Big Sister / I’m a Big Brother by Joanna Cole
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There’s a House Inside My Mummy by Giles Andreae
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The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
Reading together not only builds understanding, but also gives space to talk about how they’re feeling.
Include Them in the Prep
Make them feel like an important part of the process:
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Let them choose a toy or outfit for the baby.
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Make a “big sibling hospital bag” with treats and small activities.
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Let the new baby “gift” something to their big sibling when they meet for the first time.
After Baby Is Born: Protecting the Bond 💞
One-on-One Time Still Matters
Even short bursts of undivided attention can make a big impact. Read a story together, play for 10 minutes, or go on a quick “just us” errand. Your toddler doesn’t need constant attention—just consistent reassurance that they still matter.
Name and Validate Their Emotions
Your toddler might be confused, clingy, or even angry. That’s natural. Try responses like:
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“It’s okay to feel upset. A lot has changed, and I’m here with you.”
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“You miss mummy/daddy holding you more, don’t you? That’s really hard sometimes.”
Acknowledging their feelings helps them feel safe, even when they’re struggling.
Dealing with Jealousy and Lashing Out
It’s common for toddlers to act out when they feel replaced or confused about their place in the family. You might notice:
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Pushing or hitting the baby
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Regression (e.g., wanting a bottle or dummy again)
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More tantrums or attention-seeking behaviour
Here’s how to navigate it:
1. Stay Calm and Set Boundaries
If your toddler lashes out physically:
“I can see you're feeling upset, but we don’t hit. That hurts the baby, and I won’t let anyone get hurt.”
Model calm but firm limits without shame. Toddlers need to know you’re in control—even of their big feelings.
2. Redirect With Connection
Follow up with some extra connection:
“You’re having a hard time. Let’s sit together and read your favourite book for a bit.”
Connection often works better than punishment at this age.
3. Praise Positive Interactions
Catch them being kind—even if it’s small:
“You were so gentle when you gave the baby their blanket! What a kind big brother you are.”
Affirmations help build a positive sibling identity.
4. Offer Words for Their Feelings
“Sometimes it feels like mummy is holding the baby a lot. Do you feel a bit left out? That’s okay. Let’s have a cuddle just us now.”
This models emotional awareness and reassures them they haven’t lost their place.
Involve Them in Baby Care (When They’re Ready)
Even small tasks—bringing a nappy, singing a lullaby—help build pride and connection. Praise their involvement:
“The baby smiled when you helped! They love you already.”
Love Multiplies
It’s okay if things feel chaotic. You won’t get it perfect every time. What matters is that your toddler continues to feel safe, valued, and deeply loved. Remind them often:
“I love you so much, and I always will—no matter what.”
In time, many toddlers grow into their new role with joy and pride. You’re not just adding a baby—you’re building a bond between siblings that can last a lifetime.
